“You’re too…” How to Find Your True Self

Last Updated on April 30, 2024 by Andrea

“You’re too loud.”

“You’re too talkative.”

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re too serious.”

“You’re too smart.” (that’s a thing?).

“You’re too intense.”

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Can you relate?

Have people said these things about you you? Do people say you’re “too much” of something?

People have said these things about me for my entire life. And they bothered me for a long time. Comments like these make me feel like I‘m not good enough…like I had nothing good to offer the world. I felt unloved for who I was. I feel like my true self isn’t valued.

Honestly, though, I didn’t know who my true self was in the first place. Statements like these made me feel like nobody liked me. I felt like everybody wanted me to be somebody else – anybody else. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin, though I envied those who did. Often I wondered who I was supposed to be if people didn’t like me the way I was.

These feelings even spilled over into my marriage. Even though my husband has never said these things about me, I felt surely he must be thinking them. After all, most others seemed to feel like I was “too” something. So I let myself drown in a sea of dissatisfaction with myself and lost about who I was really supposed to be.

But then I realized: I’m not “too” anything.

What is our true self?

The other day I took a little break. I went to the beach and made a long list of all the negative things anyone has ever said about me and all the negative thoughts I’ve had about myself. I wrote every one of them down. Five pages worth!

I then prayed that God would remove those names from me and replace them with a new name for me. I put them in a jar, burned them, and tossed the ashes.

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Now that I burned those labels those statements of being “too much” of anything are gone. They no longer define who I am. I am finally free to embrace my true self – the wonderful person God made me to be.

Instead of believing those old lies, I know that I’m a child of God – made as He wants me to be for a great purpose (Isaiah 43:7). He made me special and unique, built for the exact plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). Consequently that makes me feel warm and cozy.

I love knowing that He loves me the way I am. In this case, I don’t need to be skinnier, quieter, talk less, or “lighten up” for Him to think I’m amazing

Who are you, really?

Undeniably, the same is true for you. God loves YOU just the way you are. He made YOU special and unique for an amazing purpose, too. 💖💕 You, too, can live in your true self.

Subsequently, you no longer have to be limited by what others say about you. Our innate nature – shy/outgoing; planner/spontaneous; talkative/quiet – are all characteristics God gave us. We don’t need to hide away those parts of us. Instead, let’s use them for God. In fact, every single person can use the gifts and qualities God gave them as part of their true self to serve His purpose – to tell others about Him and His wonderful love.

Remaining true to your self

Sharing God’s love can happen anywhere! When we remain true to ourselves the way God made us – with our husband, kids, extended family, friends, and work – we can be a light of shining authenticity. At the same time we can appreciate and encourage others to be themselves as well. When we lean into our TRUE selves, and encourage others to do it as well, we create a world of love and peace that only God can provide, especially when we allow Him to heal us of all the “you’re too” statements we’ve owned for far too long..

Above all, let’s all live our best selves – pursuing God’s best for us without worrying about being “too” anything. Instead, let’s be our true self.

As a matter of fact, I’m sure you and I would be great friends, appreciating each other for the special gifts each of us has been given. 💝

What are your favorite parts of yourself? What characteristics make you wonderfully unique? Tell us below in the comments.

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With love,

🌸 Andrea

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