One source of misunderstandings & how to avoid them

MISUNDERSTANDINGS

I hate it when misunderstandings happen. It’s so frustrating! I know we all want to communicate successfully. Often, however, the end result is not as satisfying as we’d like when we are plagued by miscommunication. Even when we try our hardest, it seems there are lots of times that we think we are being clear, only to find out the other person thought we were saying something else entirely.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I was in a conversation with someone today and realized that I did something that caused a miscommunication. I realized that I’ve had to teach my kids about this, so we probably aren’t the only people making this communication mistake. I’ll show you what happened, then discuss how we can avoid it.

Visiting Friend: “Do you use the white towels for the bathroom?”

Me: “They are under the sink, in the cabinet.”

Visiting Friend: “Yes, I know where they are, I wanted to know if I’m supposed to use the white ones.”

Me: “Aren’t they under the sink?”

Visiting Friend: doesn’t reply

Seems simple, right? My friend asked a question and I answered, .However, I didn’t answer the question she asked.

I assumed where the conversation was going and jumped ahead.

The problem is, I jumped where I didn’t need to be. The assumption caused my friend to feel frustrated needlessly.

WHAT WENT WRONG?

Had I just answered the question she asked (if I use the white towels for the bathroom), the conversation would have ended sooner and with no frustration on either part.

Far too often, when asked a question, we jump ahead to where we think the person is going. We then attempt to answer that question in an attempt to hurry the conversation along to it’s inevitable end.

When we do this, however, we are circumventing the process and causing misunderstandings. We’re also being disrespectful to the person who asked the question. In effect, we’re saying, “I know what you really want to ask, so I’m going to answer that instead.” When we act on that assumption we are disrespecting our friends and loved ones. When we take time to really listen to what’s being asked, we show respect to that person.

The solution?

Answer the question that’s being asked. Instead of assuming the person is trying to get at something else, respect the person enough to assume he/she knows her own mind and will ask the question they want answered. When you do this you can avoid the pitfalls of misunderstandings. This little trick works in all of our relationships – at home, work, and with friends!

This simple change in our communication can positively impact all of our relationships.

Give it a try and please let me know below how it works for you. Tell us about it in the comments area below!

In love,

Andrea 💝

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