Three simple steps to thanking your kids

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Reward Behavior = Repeat Behavior

People are pretty simple. For instance, research shows that when we reward behavior we like, people do that behavior more. For instance, when I thank my son for taking care of the trash without being told, he is much more likely to take out the trash again. When I tell my husband how much I appreciate it when he takes the dogs out at night, he’s much more likely to do that tomorrow night, too. When we thank our kids, they notice!

Sincerity Impacts Trust

Kids can spot insincerity a mile away, though. When we give a general “thanks, honey” without any emotion or acknowledging what they actually did, they think we don’t really mean what we say. If our kids doubt that we mean what we say, they begin to think they can’t trust us. A lack of trust means they are less likely to repeat good behaviors or confide in us.

How to Use Gratitude to Build Your Relationship

See how a simple thank you can build successful parent-child relationships?

First, get in the habit of thanking your kids for what they do – for good behavior. It’s important to thank them, even if they were supposed to do whatever it is they did. Everyone loves to feel like their actions matter! Research shows that when behavior we praise (in any relationship) tends to reinforce that behavior, making the person more likely to do it again.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly want to encourage my kids to continue to do do praiseworthy things!

So read on – there’s a simple formula to get started.

We are told in Colossians 3:17 to be thankful all the time (“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”). While this verse means we should commit all that we say and do to Jesus, while thanking him for the gifts of our life, it also speaks to being thankful in general.

As a professor of successful communication, I believe this also means we should have an attitude of gratitude at home.

Long-Term Benefits When You Thank Your Kids

Saying thank you does not have to be difficult.

Over time, your child will love hearing the praise and will go out of his/her way to do things you’ll notice. You’re not spoiling your child to acknowledge what they do as a contributing member of your family. You’re treating them with respect. And that’s a very good thing.

What can you thank your kids for this week? Let us know in the comments.

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Be well,

🌸 Andrea