One Simple Shift To Get Your Kids To Do Those Chores

Last Updated on April 11, 2025 by Andrea

“Please do your chores”

“Evin, please clean your bathroom today.” This is a phrase I’ve uttered countless times…generally every Saturday morning. I also said it to our first child but he rarely did this chore. The bathroom was nasty and I’d get so frustrated that I would just do it myself. I would hope (fingers and toes crossed) that he would see what it looked like clean and be able to model what I did to get it that way.

Well, hoping only goes so far.

I wondered for a long time how people actually got their kids to do chores the right way (the parents’ way). Then I realized my son had no idea what needed to happen for the bathroom to become clean. He knew he liked it clean, but had no idea where to start.

Chore Time

Teaching children to do household chores is not just about keeping things tidy; it’s about instilling responsibility, a sense of accomplishment, and contributing to family life. Chores provide an excellent opportunity for children to learn valuable life skills that will serve them well into adulthood.

In this article, we will explore effective strategies for setting expectations ahead of time and using positive reinforcement to encourage children to complete their chores. By establishing clear guidelines and rewarding efforts, parents can foster a cooperative and positive environment where children feel motivated and engaged in their responsibilities.

Let’s delve into helpful tips for how you can make chore time an enriching and enjoyable part of your family’s routine.

A new approach

Because the “model and hope” approach didn’t work with my first child, I decided I needed a new plan with my second. So with my second child I decided to be very clear about task and process for this chore. I made a detailed list of what needs to be done to have a clean bathroom. For instance, I made sure that he knew:

• the toilet needs to be clean inside AND out
• the sink and the counter need cleaning
• the tub needs cleaning, as well as the shower walls
• all towels need to go to the laundry room and clothes need to go to the hamper in his room
• the floor needs to be swept and mopped
• the trash needs to go out and a new bag put in
• toilet paper needs to be restocked
• I also listed all products used for each task, as well as where to find each product

Want to know something cool? Once I taught him how to do the chore, he did much better when I asked him to clean. Once he understood how to do the job, it was easier to actually DO the job.

Age-Appropriate Chores

I fully agree that not all kids can do every chore. I guarantee there is something for all your family members, though! Begin by making a list of tasks that need to be accomplished. I’ll be honest, I used PInterest a lot when I was in this stage of parenting. I knew I would forget things to put on my list. It doesn’t need to be a long list – just what needs to be done around the house. Keep in mind you don’t need some big, fancy chore system. Just know what needs to be done and write it down.

When you’ve made your list of chores, now identify the steps you take for each chore. Pretend you are explaining it to someone who never did this before. Those are the steps you write down. You’ll be sharing these steps with your kids.

Chores by Age…

Young children can be best served with a chore chart or a sticker chart and simple tasks. Younger children can make their bed, sort their own laundry, put away clean dishes in lower cabinets, take dirty clothes to the laundry room, clean up after dinner, or take the dogs out.

Mid-aged kids can tolerate more involved jobs. They can do all the jobs younger kids can do but also: wash clothes (once they are tall enough to reach the washing machine controls), put away dishes that belong in higher cabinets, help with yard work, sweep floors, clean up dog poop, run the vacuum, dust lower furniture, and fold their own clothes. They may still benefit from a reward chart or star chart to help motivate them.

Older kid and teens can realistically do any chore that you can in the entire house; they are ready for more complex tasks. They can load the dishwasher, clean the bathroom, wash windows, power wash the walkway, prepare their own lunch, and much, much more!

When our kids are older and doing “adult type” chores, we do pay our kids (a very nominal amount). We don’t give our kids an allowance, but we do pay for chores above and beyond daily living. For instance, we don’t pay our kids to brush their teeth or make their beds. But picking up poop and washing windows do earn extra money for them. We keep a list of these paid jobs handy and our kids know they can always do those chores if they need some extra cash.

The key is to assign appropriate tasks for your child’s age and ability. This may take a bit of experimentation to know who can do what. You don’t have to endure chore battles to have kids successfully help with chores around the house.

Teaching vs Expecting

When we teach our kids how we want them to do something, instead of expecting that they know, we have a much greater likelihood of them completing the chore or activity the way we want them to. If I expect my child to make his bed but don’t tell him what that entails, it will likely never be done to my satisfaction (or done at all).

When people feel like they are likely to fail at an activity, they are unlikely to do that activity. The same holds true for our kids and their chores. If they feel like they are going to be yelled at for doing it wrong, they are not going to bother with it at all.

We see this demonstrated best in Scripture. God doesn’t just tell us to go spread the word about Him, He shows us how in the Bible. The New Testament is filled with examples of how to live the Christian life and how to tell others about it. Most of the books by Paul include some instruction. The Gospels, filled with the voice of Jesus, tell us how to live like Him. God didn’t just expect us to be His people – he taught us how in His Word.

Not just chores

Interestingly, this holds true for other activities as well as chores.

If we tell our kids to “work out” their disagreements but don’t ever tell them HOW to do that, they will never figure it out. They may stop fighting (eventually) but that doesn’t mean they “worked it out.” We need to define what “work it out” means to us and give them the steps to actually make that happen. Yes, this requires some hands-on time at first. Eventually your kids will know how to do this on their own.

Teaching for success

We need to teach, not just expect, our kids to be successful in life. Remember it’s a learning proces. That means teaching how to do the things we do – have relationships, clean house, work a job, take care of finances. Everything you do needs to be taught to your kids.

Don’t forget to teach your kids how to be thankful. Begin by thanking them regularly. They will notice and want to behave in ways that get them more praise!

When we teach our kids how to be successful, and praise them when they do well, they are going to build self confidence and be able to do more jobs competently. We are equipping them to have an important life skill – one that will serve them and their future family well.

What do you do with your kids to encourage them to learn new tasks? Tell us in the comments!

With love,

🌸 Andrea

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