One Simple Shift To Get Your Kids To Do Those Chores

“Please do your chores”

“Evin, please clean your bathroom today.” This is a phrase I’ve uttered countless times…generally every Saturday. I also said it to our first child but he rarely did this chore. The bathroom was nasty and I’d get so frustrated that I would just do it myself. I would hope (fingers and toes crossed) that he would see what it looked like clean and be able to model what I did to get it that way.

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Well, hoping only goes so far.

I wondered for a long time how people actually got their kids to do chores the right way (the parents’ way). Then I realized my son had no idea what needed to happen for the bathroom to become clean. He knew he liked it clean, but had no idea where to start.

A new approach

So with my second child I decided to be very clear about task and process for this chore. I made a detailed list of what needs to be done to have a clean bathroom. I made sure that he knew:

• the toilet needs to be clean inside AND out
• the sink and the counter need cleaning
• the tub needs cleaning, as well as the shower walls
• all towels need to go to the laundry room and clothes need to go to the hamper in his room
• the floor needs to be swept and mopped
• the trash needs to go out and a new bag put in
• toilet paper needs to be restocked
• I also listed all products used for each task, as well as where to find each product

Want to know something cool? Once I taught him how to do the chore, he did much better when I asked him to clean. Once he understood how to do the job, it was easier to actually DO the job.

Teaching vs Expecting

When we teach our kids how we want them to do something, instead of expecting that they know, we have a much greater likelihood of them completing the chore or activity the way we want them to. If I expect my child to make his bed but don’t tell him what that entails, it will likely never be done to my satisfaction (or done at all).

When people feel like they are likely to fail at an activity, they are unlikely to do that activity. The same holds true for our kids and their chores. If they feel like they are going to be yelled at for doing it wrong, they are not going to bother with it at all.

We see this demonstrated best in Scripture. God doesn’t just tell us to go spread the word about Him, He shows us how in the Bible. The New Testament is filled with examples of how to live the Christian life and how to tell others about it. Most of the books by Paul include some instruction. The Gospels, filled with the voice of Jesus, tell us how to live like Him. God didn’t just expect us to be His people – he taught us how in His Word.

Not just chores

Interestingly, this holds true for other activities as well as chores.

If we tell our kids to “work out” their disagreements but don’t ever tell them HOW to do that, they will never figure it out. They may stop fighting (eventually) but that doesn’t mean they “worked it out.”

Teaching for success

We need to teach, not just expect, our kids to be successful in life. That means teaching how to do the things we do – have relationships, clean house, work a job, take care of finances. Everything you do needs to be taught to your kids.

Don’t forget to teach your kids how to be thankful. Begin by thanking them regularly. They will notice and want to behave in ways that get them more praise!

When we teach our kids how to be successful, and praise them when they do well, they are going to build self confidence and be able to do more jobs competently.

What do you do with your kids to encourage them to learn new tasks? Tell us in the comments!

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With love,

🌸 Andrea

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