Everything You Need to Know about prayer for difficult conversations

Last Updated on October 23, 2024 by Andrea

Difficult conversations

It’s easy to fall into the trap of fighting or arguing with someone when we are having a difficult conversation. It may not be so easy to remember prayer before difficult conversations. It’s natural for us to defend our opinions and defend the things we love.

Sometimes when we are in conflict with those whom we love, it’s tempting to make a list of all the ways that person “gets it wrong,” especially if it’s a difficult relationship. Doing this can leave us feeling like we are in a very lonely place.

The truth is, this type of negative perspective can ruin relationships before they have a chance to grow.

The hard truth is that tough conversations are part of being in relationship with people. Difficult conversations are always accompanied by tense situations, so being “prayed up” ahead of time can help diffuse the tension.

Praying before hard conversations is essential for relationship success. When we pray ahead of time, and also pray for each person to be able to really listen, we are more likely to focus on God and the other person than ourselves and our message.

When we focus on the presence of God and the other person, we are more likely to engage in good listening skills. Together, prayer and listening skills will help us build a stronger relationship.

It’s not always easy to pray, but it’s worth it.

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Prayer

Prayer is simply talking to God. It’s a way to build a relationship with Him by sharing your heart—your joys, worries, and everything in between. God invites us to come to Him in prayer, just like we would with a close friend. Philippians 4:6 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Prayer is a conversation, not a performance, and it can be as formal or as simple as you need it to be. You don’t have to have all the right words; God understands your heart.

So why should we pray? Prayer strengthens our faith and helps us stay connected to God’s will. It’s not just about asking for things, but also listening and growing in trust. Jesus Himself prayed often, modeling for us the importance of staying close to the Father. In Luke 5:16, we see that “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” If prayer was central to Jesus’ life, how much more should it be part of ours? Prayer is also a way to experience God’s peace, guidance, and comfort, especially during life’s challenges. As 1 Thessalonians 5:17 encourages, we are called to “pray without ceasing,” continually opening our hearts to Him. Our prayer life is personal but only becomes a prayer life by engaging in it daily. While prayer time is good, a prayer life is even better.

When it comes to how to pray, there’s no perfect formula, but Jesus Christ gave us a beautiful example in the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). Start by praising God and acknowledging who He is—our loving Father in heaven. Bring your needs and concerns to Him, ask for forgiveness, and seek His guidance in your daily life. Be honest with God; He already knows what’s in your heart. Whether you’re whispering a quick prayer in the car or setting aside time for a deeper conversation, God is always ready to listen. Simple prayers are often the best. We can follow the example of Jesus praying, as well. Prayer can be as spontaneous or as structured as you want, but the key is making it a regular part of your life so you are preapred when difficult conversations arise.

You may want to consider investing in a prayer journal and a good Bible. God’s word is the best place to start with prayer. When we pray God’s word back to Him, we are immersing ourselves in Him for our prayer. You can also use your journal to record answered prayers.

You can also surround yourself with fellow believers. We learn how to pray from listening to others pray, too.

Preview of the Benefits of Prayer before Difficult Conversations

There are several reasons why praying before difficult conversations is essential for relationship success:

• Prayer helps you focus on what you’re saying and listening to your conversation partner. It also helps you be more present, which helps you connect with your conversational partner better. This can make conversations more enjoyable and productive. It also helps you to focus on God and the relationship, not your own interests.
• Prayer shows that you care about the person who you’re talking to, which can help them feel more comfortable and willing to be honest with you during the conversation.
• Once someone knows that they are being prayed for, they will often open up more easily because they feel like they have someone on their side who cares about them, even if things don’t go perfectly during the conversation.
• Praying before a hard conversation also helps us with conflict resolution. I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed before a difficult conversation, only to have God lead me in how to resolve the conflict.
• Pray that God will guide what you say. Sometimes we have hard words to communicate, and knowing how God would have us say them is so helpful. Knowing the right words instead of hurtful words from God is unbelievable, I promise!
• I don’t know about you, but my thoughts are often more like constant noise. When I take time to specifically pray for a tough conversation, it focuses my thoughts where they need to be .

How to Pray

There are several simple steps to praying before hard conversations. Prayer is really just talking to God. And it’s totally appropriate to pray for success with a conversation or relationship. The most important point is to let the Holy Spirit guide you. God’s voice is clear, we just need to have ears to hear it. Remember not to focus on past hurt or old arguments. Stay current and focus on the immediate conversation.

Try this format if you don’t have one you like already:

1. Acknowledge God’s presence over the conversation.
2. Humble yourself before God’s presence.
3. Focus on God’s love.
4. Ask for forgiveness.
5. Ask for wisdom.
6. Look at the conversation from the other person’s perspective.
7. Ask God to be your means of communication.
8. Seek to bless the other person.
9. Listen to the other person and learn from them.

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Prayer Example Before Difficult Conversations

Father God, I know that you are the Master Communicator, the Creator of Life. You have already gone ahead of my friend/partner and I into this conversation. You have already paved the way for our relationship to improve from our time together. I humbly come to you for wisdom and direction. Please forgive me for my pride in thinking my perspective is the right one, or the only one. Please help me to see from his/her perspective…to really understand him/her. Help me to understand what he/she really needs…to see the world and the situation from his/her experiences. I want to know what he/she wants from this conversation.

As you did for Moses, I ask you to give me the words I need. Put the right words in my mouth and set a guard over my mouth to prevent words I shouldn’t say. I pray for your continued blessings on {name of person} – I pray for a close relationship with you, and for you to pave the way for success in his/her life. Please open my ears to what he/she has to say and know that just as you are directing my words, so you are directing his/hers. Please bring us together in YOU to find a solution that glorifies you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

So, That’s It!

Before you have tough conversations, spend some time in prayer. Don’t just ask God to “help” you with it; ask Him to go with you and give you the strength to break through any obstacles that may come up. Then, when the conversation becomes difficult, remember that you can only succeed if God is with you—and know that He is. The next time you have a tough conversation, I know you’ll turn to prayer first!

Difficult Conversation Takeaway:

Prayer before difficult conversations can make a big difference in how their outcome.

❓ What relationship needs the most prayer before you talk ❓ Scroll to the very bottom and let us know. Mine is definitely my marriage!

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💝 Andrea

PS I realize some relationships have past hurts that block our ability to “pray and proceed” like everything is normal. In those cases, there’s often some kind of forgiveness that needs to happen. This book is fantastic. It helped me break free from several relationship struggles.

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