Mastering Intentionality: Building a Thriving Marriage with Purpose

Life is so busy that I can easily lose sight of what my bigger purpose is in my marriage and living with intentionality. I lose track of doing things on purpose in my marriage, instead of just flying by the seat of my pants. It’s easy to forget that our marriage is bigger than us – it’s a reflection of God’s relationship with the church and that’s a responsibility we take seriously.

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In a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming, finding purpose and intentionality can seem like an elusive pursuit. However, mastering intentionality is the key to building a thriving marriage with purpose. By aligning our actions and goals with our values and passions, we can create a life that is meaningful and fulfilling.

In this article, we will explore the steps to becoming more intentional in our everyday lives. We will dive deep into the power of setting clear goals how they can help us stay focused and motivated towards our purpose in our marriage.

What is Intentionality in Marriage?

Intentionality in marriage means purposefully nurturing your relationship with your husband every day.

As a Christian wife, it’s about making a conscious effort to love, serve, and support your husband in a way that honors God. This includes setting aside time to connect, communicate, and pray together, even amidst the busyness of life.

By being intentional, you strengthen your bond and create a marriage that reflects Christ’s love, filled with grace, understanding, and mutual respect.

When we are intentional in our marriage, we are doing things on purpose, for a purpose. We communicate specifically what we are thinking and feeling, and not haphazardly.

I, too, find this difficult sometimes. I get busy with life and just throw out the easiest answer for my husband, instead of really taking time to know what I think about something. When we don’t take time to really think about what we are feeling, it’s easy to fall into conflict.

When I forget about the importance of God in my marriage, I begin to think about ME way too much and that derails our higher purpose in our marriage.

The Importance of Living with Purpose

Living with purpose in your marriage is vital because it aligns your actions and intentions with God’s plan for your relationship.

As a Christian wife, embracing your role with a sense of purpose means intentionally building a strong, loving, and Christ-centered marriage. Embracing your role helps you stay focused on what truly matters—loving your husband, fostering a peaceful home, and growing together in faith.

By living purposefully, you create a marriage that not only thrives but also reflects God’s love and brings glory to Him.

Here are a few Scriptures that emphasize the importance of living with purpose in marriage:

1. Colossians 3:17 (NIV): “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
2. Proverbs 31:26-27 (NIV): “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
3. Ephesians 5:22-23 (NIV): “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

When I remember to live these Scriptures, my life is much smoother. It’s when I think I’m more important than I really am (letting pride run my life) that I get into trouble. I think I’m the center of my life story, and I’m not. God is. When I put God where He belongs, in the center of my life and marriage, then everything else falls into place. My husband feels cheriched, my kids have a peaceful home, and I’m way more productive. Win-win-win!

Setting Goals Aligned with your Purpose

We can set goals that align with our purpose by first seeking God’s guidance through prayer and Scripture. Here’s a simple process that I often use:

Reflect on Your Purpose:

Begin by understanding your God-given role as a wife, focusing on how you can support, love, and build up your husband and marriage in a way that honors God. Include your role as a mom, too. Being a wife and mother are closely related. How does my being a good wife make me a good mother?

Pray for Guidance:

Ask God to reveal the areas in your marriage where He wants you to grow and set goals that reflect His will. This could involve improving communication, deepening spiritual intimacy, or finding ways to serve your husband and family better.

When I pray I often get told ways to diminish myself and build my husband up more. This is a tough lesson but one that leads to specific goals and actions to make a better marriage centered on biblical principles.

Align Goals with Biblical Principles:

Ensure your goals are rooted in Scripture. For example, setting a goal to be more patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) or to prioritize your marriage above other commitments (Ephesians 5:33). And sometimes that means we are putting our marriage before our kids.

I know that’s controversial but when our kids see parents with a solid relationship, they feel much more secure. While you’re at it, don’t forget about goals related to physical intimacy (1 Corinthians 7:5)

Break Down Goals into Actionable Steps:

Create specific, measurable steps to achieve your goals, such as scheduling regular date nights, daily prayers together, or setting aside time for meaningful conversations. I find that we have our best conversations in the car. That may not be the best time and place for you, though.

My point is to be creative and pay attention to when your husband is most likely to open up and talk. Then seize those moments!

Regularly Reevaluate:

Periodically revisit your goals to ensure they still align with God’s purpose for your marriage, making adjustments as needed. I do this on my own during prayer time, but also with my husband. I have personal goals for our marriage and we have couple goals for our marriage.

It’s important to reevaluate those goals regularly. Yearly is great, so it’s not too often and you have time to accomplish some goals.

Overcoming Obstacles and Staying Committed to your Purpose

When we take time to refocus on our goals regularly we are much more able to overcome any obstacles. Obstacles can be anything! Busyness is a common obstacle or distraction. It makes us so crazy running around that we forget to focus on our purpose. This is why it’s so important to pray about your purpose every day.

Poor communication can also be an obstacle. That’s why it’s important to set aside regular “talk time.” I know this is extra challenging if you have little ones, but it’s doable, I promise! Need some concrete communication ideas? Here’s my ultimate guide to communication in marriage.

Another obstacle to living with intentionality is unrealistic expectations. When we have expectations for ourselves or our marriage that are difficult to meet, that makes us not want to even try. Our marriage won’t be perfect. There. I said it. And that’s okay! God isn’t asking us for perfection. It’s important to set realistic expectations in our marriage.

The final obstacle I want to address is negative outside influences. Be careful what you watch, listen to, and who you spend time with. When we are “ingesting” negative messages about marriage and our faith, it’s far too easy to begin to slide away from our purpose. Focus on those things that are true and excellent to move your marriage that way.

Nurturing Your Relationship to Support your Purpose

A Christian wife nurtures her marriage to support her purpose by intentionally fostering a loving, Christ-centered relationship. Here’s how:

Prioritize Spiritual Growth Together

Regularly pray, study the Bible, and worship with your husband. This strengthens your spiritual bond and aligns your marriage with God’s purpose.

Cultivate Communication

Open, honest, and loving communication helps you understand each other’s needs, resolve conflicts, and grow closer. Make time for meaningful conversations, treat him with kindness, listen actively, and express your love and appreciation often.

Serve with Love

Show love through acts of service, putting your husband’s needs before your own as an expression of selfless love. This reflects Christ’s love and builds a strong foundation for your marriage.

Create Quality Time

Spend intentional time together, whether through date nights, shared hobbies, or simple moments at home. Quality time nurtures your connection and keeps your marriage a priority.

Support and Encourage

Be your husband’s biggest supporter, encouraging him in his walk with God and in his daily life. Your encouragement can uplift him and strengthen your partnership.

Practice Forgiveness and Grace

Mistakes and misunderstandings will happen. Practicing forgiveness and extending grace mirrors God’s love and keeps your marriage healthy and purpose-driven.

By nurturing your marriage in these ways, you support your God-given purpose as a wife, creating a relationship that reflects His love and brings glory to Him.

Conclusion: Embracing Intentionality for a Thriving Relationship

When we embrace intentionality we are focusing on our purpose every day. We are communicating what we think clearly and with our husband in mind. Service is high on our list. We put God first when we live with intentionality. Obstacles don’t derail us because we are on the lookout for them and we are ready to combat them. We know where we are going because we focus on God and His plan for us…then we work to get there on purpose as a couple.

You can totally do this! What’s your best way to be intentional in your marriage? Let us know in the comments!

Love,

🌸 Andrea

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