What Is a Christian Marriage? God’s View of Love

I’ve been married for over 30 years. And I’ve always considered us to have a Christian marriage because we were married by the church and we are both Christians. But what does God have to say about marriage? What constitutes a Christian marriage, in His eyes?

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Introduction

In today’s world, the concept of marriage gets a lot of attention — from reality shows to romance novels, from debates in western nations to shifting cultural attitudes in the United States.

In this country, half of current US households are no longer made up of married couples. Many see this apparent failure of marriage as proof that love just doesn’t last.

But for those of us in the Christian faith, marriage has always meant more than a casual social sign or emotional connection.

It’s a covenant relationship — a sacred institution of God – rooted in biblical marriage from the Garden of Eden to the teachings of Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul.

So what does a truly Christian marriage look like in a world full of false understandings and unrealistic expectations?

Let’s explore what Scripture says about the beauty of marriage, the kind of love that lasts, and the hope of glory we find when two human beings join together in Christ.

The Origin and Meaning of Marriage

The concept of marriage originates with Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:24 — “A man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife…”

The institution of marriage was established in the Garden of Eden as a voluntary union between one man and one woman.

God declared it a good thing, designed to reflect His character and companionship.

The Old Testament shows marriage as central to family life and God’s covenant story. From Adam and Eve to Abraham and Sarah; from Jacob and Rachel/Leah to David and Bathsheba and Hosea with Gomer we see countless examples of marriages that demonstrate how God views marriage.

Marriage in the New Testament: A Picture of Christ

In Ephesians 5:22–23, the Apostle Paul describes the marriage of Christ and the Church. In it he says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

Here, husbands are called to sacrificial love, modeling the example of Christ, who gave Himself for the Church.

Wives, too, have a role. They are called to respect their own husbands, as the Church honors Christ, the Head of the Church.

Honestly both tasks are impossible on our own strength. If you’re like me, you’ve tried to be a good wife on your own. But it never really works – not for long.

It’s the Holy Spirit that empowers us to love beyond our own power, showing the character of Christ in marriage.

The Covenant Relationship: More Than a Contract

Unlike civil contracts, a Christian marriage is a covenant relationship shared by promises before God. A covenant is a holy and sacred commitment. In biblical times, covenants were not broken.

The wedding ceremony reflects these sacred vows. For Christians, the ceremony is more than just romantic feelings – it’s about a commitment to faithfulness that lasts a lifetime.

Malachi 2:14–15 warns against betraying the wife of your youth; God sees marriage as holy in His sight. There are very few instances where God says we can/should leave our spouse.

But I know firsthand how hard that is. Marriage is incredibly difficult. We can fulfill those wedding commitments – our covenant promises – with the help of the Holy Spirit every day.

True love seeks the interests of others, mirroring Christ’s love for us. I talk more about God’s love for us in this post, so check it out!

The Challenges of Marriage Today

In contemporary American culture, fewer people choose marriage. Researchers find it’s often due to false understandings or unrealistic expectations.

The failure of marriage stems not from God’s design, but from our feeble human attempts to live marriage in our own power without the Holy Spirit. Apart from the Spirit, we can do nothing.

Even with an unbelieving spouse, Scripture calls believers to model the character of Christ and trust God’s grace. So a Christian marriage can still be attained if only one spouse believes. It just takes different effort.

While Scripture tells us not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever (don’t marry someone not of your faith or without faith), it happens. Perhaps the believer thinks they can change their partner – bring them to faith – after they’re married. Or perhaps neither believes before the wedding, but one person becomes a believer before the other. 1 Corinthians 7 and 1 Peter 3 offer wisdom for mixed-faith marriages and inevitable conflicts.

The Beauty and Hope of a Meaningful Marriage

When we live our marriage with Christ as the focus, our marriage becomes an ideal relationship that reflects the marriage of Christ and the Church.

This relationship teaches mutual service, sexual intimacy that honors God, and deep friendship.

Conclusion

A Christian marriage isn’t about perfection — it’s really about God’s love. When a married couple allows Jesus Christ to be at the center, their love becomes a living portrait of His sacrificial love for us.

Today’s world has fewer people who believe in lasting love. But Christian couples can show the world that true joy in marriage doesn’t come from meeting unrealistic expectations, but from surrendering to the Holy Spirit and imitating the character of Christ.

Whether you’re preparing for your wedding ceremony, walking through inevitable conflicts, or renewing your marriage vows,  remember: marriage was never meant to be lived in our own power.

The only way to experience the beauty of marriage is through the grace of Christ Jesus, who remains faithful — even when we fall short.

In Christ,

🌸 Andrea

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