Two Types of Date Night & Why Every Marriage Needs Them
Last Updated on May 22, 2025 by Andrea
The Date Night Scene
It’s Friday date night and I’m wearing a great sundress I bought on ThredUp.
My hair is washed and curled. My nails are painted. I move to the kitchen to put on some strappy heels. They rarely get use anymore but date night is a good time to dust them off and enjoy feeling feminine.
A few minutes later, my husband comes out of the bedroom wearing nice jeans and a shirt that totally matches his eyes. He’s freshly shaven and had his hair cut today.
With full-time careers, two kids, three dogs, and a farm full of animals, date night doesn’t happen as often as either of us would like. I’m so excited to go for a nice dinner somewhere, maybe take a walk on the beach, and enjoy some time alone.
Date Night Is Important
Date Nights are important to marriage for lots of reasons. They provide us with an opportunity to connect with this God-ordained relationship without the normal distractions of life. At this time we can take a break from our regular routines and really focus on our spouse.
This date night connection is crucial for long-term marriage success. The distractions we face every day chip away at our bond, and it becomes all too easy for the enemy to creep in and further destroy our connection.
Types of Date Night
Not all married couples date nights have to be expensive or time consuming. Nor do they have to happen at night!
My husband and I tend to have two types of dates:
- working dates – these are a great way to tackle planning. We talk about gift buying at birthdays and Christmas; planning for summer and the new year; we discuss the school calendar when it comes out. These are generally lunchtime dates when they kids are at school. I come armed with my list and we work through everything without little ears eavesdropping or little mouths asking questions. This kind of date is crucial for continuing to strengthen the foundation of marriage. Undoubtedly, these logistical issues need to be addressed or miscommunication and calendar conflicts abound.
- romantic dates – these are what most people typically think of as a date. We generally dress up a bit, go out in public, and focus on each other. There may be lots of eye gazing and hand holding. This kind of date is essential for the intimacy part of our marriage. We need to remember why we fell in love with our spouse in the first place. Romantic dates are the perfect place to do that.
Photo courtesy of Nathan Dulao via Unsplash
Date Night Details
Let’s be clear, money doesn’t always afford for going out to eat at an expensive restaurant. And these days they all seem expensive! Living room dates are dates, too! Put the kids to bed (or better yet, involve Grandma and Grandpa) and make a movie night or play a board game. Enjoy time alone in the comfort of your home. Quality time is what’s important.
You can also do fun things together – make a game of it, visit botanical gardens, go fishing, lick ice cream, make your favorite foods, reminisce about your first date (or relive it!), take a food tour, take a hot air balloon ride, go for bike rides, try new recipes, work through your bucket list, check out old photos, visit an art gallery, serve at a soup kitchen, or play miniature golf.
Another idea is to explore hobbies together. Pick something you both want to do or learn and jump in. There are so many resources now that there’s no excuse not to learn something new.
Plan a Date
Given these points, now it’s time. Go have some kind of date.
Need a planning date for upcoming holiday or birthday? Make a list and have at it!
Has it been a while since you really looked at your spouse and enjoyed his company? Now’s a great time!
Remember, a date doesn’t have to cost a lot. Most important, just take time to remember why
Tell us: What do you like to do for a date night? Where is your favorite place to go? Let us know in the chat!
With love,
💖 Andrea
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I am an author, speaker, and communication professor. My specialty is teaching people how to have successful, faith-based relationships. My passion is to teach people how to live out Scripture in healthy relationships, especially at home. I've been married for 29 years and have two boys - ages 19 and 15. I love to bake to show my love, so you'll sometimes see favorite recipes!
my husband and i think have more working dates then we do have romantic dates. but every few months we try and go out for dinner just the two of us to reconnect sometimes life gets busy so we just need to sit and have a nice meal together that someone else has prepared.
They are both so important – I’m glad you get both kinds! I think the “working dates” are overlooked but they serve a huge purpose. Glad you’re working hard on your marriage! And I totally agree about that meal someone else prepared. 🙂 Thanks for your comment.
Great post, I do agree that date nights are very important and keep the relationship lasting longer.
Thanks for reading and for your comment!