No More Christian Christmas Guilt

Last Updated on January 10, 2023 by Andrea

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Growing Up with Christmas

Christmas at my house growing up was a wonderful affair. For weeks leading up to it, Mom would bake Christmas cookies. She would put them in big containers and freeze them as they cooled. Sometime after Thanksgiving, we would decorate the house and the tree. Christmas music played throughout our humble home all season. Mom and I would dance and decorate and bake. Such wonderful memories.

On Christmas Eve we would have a traditional Wigilia dinner (Polish) with seven courses of homemade goodness – three soups (mushroom/noodle, pea, and cabbage), barley and prunes, pierogies, fish, and apple rice strudel. After we were all stuffed and cleaned up, we would head to church for the midnight mass.

My growing-up-family were “holiday Catholics” – meaning we went to church on Christmas and Easter. While I didn’t care for the incense, I loved the carols and candles. Mom would sit with her eyes closed. I always thought she was sleeping but now that I’m the same age, I realize she was drowning out the other sights to focus on what she was hearing and drawing closer to God.

Santa!

When we got home, everyone would go to sleep and Santa would come.

Then first thing Christmas morning my two sisters and I would race to our parents room, like every other family, and wake up Mom and Dad. They would make us wait in a back room while they prepared a cookie tray, poured eggnog, and made coffee. Only once the goodies were out, the tree was lit, and Dad had his camera ready would we be permitted to run into the room and see what Santa brought.

Humble beginnings

Running to see what was under the tree was particularly exciting because our family had very little money for most of my youth. In my life now, if my son needs something while we are food shopping (like new underwear or a notebook) I buy it (within reason). But growing up, we didn’t get “extras” during the year. We received gifts, needed and wanted, on birthdays and Christmas. So Christmas was a big deal. And my humble parents went all out.

There was always a huge spread. I knew Christmas was about Jesus. I also knew it was a time for my parents to show a different kind of love than we saw throughout the year. We received more gifts than some of our friends, and Mom and Dad were always so proud of what they were able to do for us at Christmas.

Fast Forward – Christian Christmas Guilt

The last few years I’ve seen a rise in what I call “Christian Christmas Guilt.” This is the phenomenon whereby Christians chastise other Christians who want to be extravagant with their children at Christmas. They argue that “the reason for the season” (Jesus, of course) precludes the need to spend “all that money” since the gifts really don’t have anything to do with Jesus. These people heap on the guilt to any Christian who chooses to be generous with gifts at Christmas, thus supposedly feeding into our materialism culture. They insist that “true Christians” won’t have lavish Christmas mornings.

I disagree.

Jesus and Joy

My husband and I do choose to go “all out” at Christmas. Our kids get gifts ranging from underwear to computers, depending on their wants and needs at the time. One son is even getting a bag of dried dates this year because he loves them! But we go extravagant. And we love it. We love being able to shower our kids with lots of the items they put on their lists. Our kids don’t get everything they want throughout the year, so Christmas is a time to take care of some of those items they wish they had a few months ago. We also celebrate Jesus all year long and our kids 100% know the meaning of Christmas.

What about debt?

We choose not to go into debt at Christmas. Even when we had a much lower income we saved and bought creatively to give our kids special Christmas morning. I’m not in favor of going into debt for Christmas (at all, but that’s a different discussion). However, what I think is important at Christmas isn’t necessarily what YOU think is important at Christmas.

Christmas Day options

Maybe your family loves Jesus. And you want to give your kids a showy Christmas. You go into some debt, because you choose to. That’s your choice. This is the USA – you’re free to take on debt if you want to. And it’s not my place to tell you if you should or shouldn’t. It’s also none of my business to tell you whether your Christmas should be four gifts each or filling their list.

Maybe your family loves Jesus. And you want to give your kids four gifts – something they want, something they need, something they can wear, and something to read. And no wild expenses required. Good for you! That sounds amazing. You should totally be able to do that without anyone telling that your way is the wrong way to celebrate Christmas.

If we all love Jesus, let’s celebrate his birth in our own way and appreciate our differences, just as we do in other areas of our lives. 💕

There are lots of ways to be a successful family, even during the holidays.

CHRISTMAS IS YOUR CALL. Celebrate the birth of Jesus how you want. You’ll get no guilt from me.

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I’m off to wrap presents now!

🌸 Andrea

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