Today begins the first of a five-part series on improving our marital communication for a successful marriage. These skills are all rooted in marital communication and foster positive ways to grow your marriage in a beautiful way.
What does it mean to water our marital garden?
What does watering our marital garden look like? Well, most of the tips I’ll be sharing with you on this website are watering strategies. For now, let’s boil it down to kindness, forgiveness, humor…and kissing!
Do more of these every day and you’ll be watering your garden regularly.
I enjoy listening to audiobooks when I’m walking with my dogs. We usually do 1-2 miles so I have about 30 minutes to listen. I generally mix up fiction and nonfiction. I recently listened to Knit Together by Debbie Macomber. She retells a great story she heard from her pastor.
The punchline is a fantastically simple truth – the pastor says that in marriage the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence – it’s greener when it’s watered.
Where the grass is greener…
This struck me as a fantastically simple truth! It’s true that we often look at other people or other relationships and think they must be better than ours. It’s far too easy to be drawn in by the public view of people, especially if you are on social media! Everyone puts their best face for the public to see – you know, the highlight reel with their best face. Life on the other side of the fence looks so appealing.
We rarely see dirty laundry, bowls with stuck-on oatmeal, mom without makeup, and hair looking like a birds’ nest. Therefore, it’s very easy to think that “their” lives must be better than ours.
If we had a kitchen like that – husband that sends us flowers – kids that pick up after themselves – more money – more time at home – more of anything – then our lives would be better and we wouldn’t have this constant companion of dissatisfaction, right?
The truth is
Yes, the truth of watering the grass we have is sublime. We need to become master gardeners of our own marital garden. Only then will we have a beautiful garden that represents much love and hard work.
I was listening to the radio the other day and one of those little “better living” segments came on. The host was discussing the feeling of being married to the wrong person. He said if this is the person we married, she/he’s the right one. We didn’t marry the wrong person, even if you seem incompatible now.
You made a commitment to honor and cherish the person forever so God expects you to keep that commitment. The only way we can keep that commitment is to water it. Daily. Sometimes multiple times each day.
While we will talk about specific “watering” techniques like gratitude and kissing, there are countless ways we can tend our marriage – through date nights, listening to the holy spirit, hard work, doing the dirty laundry – however you serve your spouse is watering your marriage for a bountiful harvest. Loving couples put each other first, knowing that their own needs will be met in the process.
Tending Our Marriage
Tending our marriage doesn’t have to come at extra cost. Many of the activities we can undertake are free. First begin by banishing negative thoughts about your spouse. The garden of love is not fertilized with negativity. We want the good parts of our thoughts to be about our marriage. The best thing about viewing the garden of your marriage is you can envision what it looks like in the future. This is an effective way to keep your eye on the prize.
Next week we’ll talk about watering with kindness, one of the first things you can do to begin improving your marriage. In the meantime, be thinking about the various ways you might water the garden of your marriage. At the end of the day, you’ll come away with a great story about your marital garden!
With love,
🌸 Andrea
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I am an author, speaker, and communication professor. My specialty is teaching people how to have successful, faith-based relationships. My passion is to teach people how to live out Scripture in healthy relationships, especially at home. I've been married for 29 years and have two boys - ages 19 and 15. I love to bake to show my love, so you'll sometimes see favorite recipes!
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