How to Strengthen Your Marriage this Valentine’s Day

Last Updated on February 14, 2025 by Andrea

In our home

I love Valentine’s Day. I admit, my husband’s love language is gift giving and he’s a GREAT gift giver. He’s always looking for opportunities to give me something sweet. My love language is words of affirmation, so he tries to shower me with those, too! I love that we have a special da to be romantic and sweet and set aside any natural frustrations happening in our marriage. Yet I know that marriage is more than fancy dinners and special gifts. Real love is about digging in and persevering.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, couples often look for ways to express their romantic love through grand gestures and special date nights. While these moments are wonderful, building a Christ-centered love that transcends the fleeting excitement of Valentine’s Day requires more than just romantic gestures. True love, as depicted in the Scriptures, involves sacrificial love and a deep connection grounded in God’s love. Valentine’s Day is often filled with flowers, chocolates, and romantic dinners, but a godly marriage requires more than just one day of effort. As Christian wives, we are called to love our husbands daily, just as Christ loves us.

In this post ~

In this blog post, we will explore how to cultivate real love in your marriage by integrating biblical principles into your daily lives. From celebrating the good things God has given us to understanding the essence of sacrificial love, we’ll guide you through practical steps to create a love that lasts. Join us as we delve into the beauty of true love that goes beyond the surface, nurturing a bond that reflects the divine love of Christ.

Redefining Love

 Love is more than feelings—it’s a choice and commitment (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). While love is viewed by Hallmark as hearts and flowers, it’s more often about listening, speaking clearly, and looking beyond our spouse’s faults. Don’t get me wrong – feelings are good, too. But sometimes we don’t feel like loving our spouse. It’s then that we need to focus on God’s love for us (the ultimate expression of love demonstrated by Christ Jesus giving His life for us).

The Power of Small Acts

Simple, daily acts of kindness strengthen your marriage more than grand gestures. While I appreciate a grand gesture as much as the next girl, I know that the building blocks of marriage are in the little things. The little kiss he places on our neck as we work. Rotating my tires when they need it. Ensuring the house is locked at night. All of the small acts of love, devotion, and kindness fill the “love tank” and give us those warm fuzzy feelings as much as grand gestures can. Good times move beyond the grand and settle into the generous. This Valentine’s Day give your spouse a greeting card with a love note from you.

Serving with Love

Biblical love involves serving each other with humility (Galatians 5:13). Sacrificial love (like God demonstrates for us) is when we give more than we take. We give to the point that it is a sacrifice for us. After years of marriage I’ve realized that it truly is better to give than to receive. When I give of myself in my romantic relationship, I am living the kind of love that God had planned for us.

Praying Together

Strengthen your marriage by making prayer a regular part of your relationship and in your family. I know that praying together can be awkward. Even if you are well versed in prayer, praying as a couple can be challenging. Think of prayer as a celebration of your love and God’s love for you. When you think of prayer as love, it’s easier to get going. If you have a hard time coming up with your own prayers, you can write them out first. Or pray the Lord’s Prayer together. Remember this is not the time to critique each other. When we pray we are communicating with God – not evaluating our style. You may pray very differently from each other and that’s totally okay.

Speaking Life Over Your Marriage

The words you speak have the power to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21). Words are powerful! Real love sets aside the frustrations and looks for the good. We all want the kind of love we dream about – one where we are loved for who we are. So do that for your spouse. Love him/her the way you want to be loved, for who he/she is. Pray for your marriage during your prayer time. Pray for God to help you overlook the little irritations. Ask Him to instill in you the love of God for your spouse in your daily lives. Find Bible verses to strengthen your marriage and commit them to memory.

Speaking in Love Languages

Practice living in the 5 love languages. I opened this article talking about love languages. Created by Gary Chapman, the 5 love languages are quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, gift giving, and acts of service. Basically, we experience love in one or two primary ways. When we learn to speak the language of our spouse, we are more likely to feel loved by him/her. Check out their website to find out what your love languages are. For extra fun do this on a date night and learn your love language together. Then receive this love handout with 55 ways to show love to your spouse, organized by love language. These are tried and true strategies!

Next Steps

First, figure out your spouse’s love language and grab your handout. Next, take time to pray every day for your marriage. Pray hard – the enemy doesn’t want you to have a Christ-filled marriage! Finally, identify three small things you can do for your spouse this week (bonus points if they align with his/her love language!) then make them happen.

Conclusion

In conclusion, a thriving marriage is built on the foundation of small, consistent acts of love and devotion. By serving each other with humility, praying together, speaking life over your union, and embracing each other’s love languages, you can foster a deep, enduring connection. Remember, the journey of marriage is a continuous effort of mutual growth and affection this Valentine’s Day and all year.

With love,

🌸 Andrea

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