How to Find the Perfect Husband

Ah, the perfect husband

Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? He knows and responds to our every need. The perfect husband listens and remembers what we say. He puts our needs above his own. He picks up his socks and closes the toilet seat. This man also cleans the kitchen and keeps himself healthy.

If you’re single, I’m sure you’ve had these thoughts. If you are married, I’m sure you’ve had these thoughts too! You may have wondered if the guy you married is the right one. I mean, he’s certainly not perfect.

Wouldn’t it be great if we knew how to find him? Well, my answer may surprise you.

Where to look

You could look online. Lots of people do that. They type in what they think makes them the perfect mate and hope/pray the “right” one comes along that will be perfect.

Or you go to the bar or singles groups and hope/pray the right one will find you there.

Maybe you get set up on dates by well-meaning loved ones. They know you best, right?

And lots of people seem perfect at first glance. Even for the first few dates they seem perfect. They are attentive and like all the things you like. But over time, their perfect veneer begins to fade. You realize that they aren’t perfect, after all.

If you’re single…

Your best plan is to trust God to bring you the perfect man for you. That means your perfect man will not be my perfect man. But God knows what we each need, and he will provide for us (Matthew 6:8). When we trust God, we don’t have to worry. We’re told to bring our requests to God and trust them to Him (Philippians 4:6-7). He will take care of us.

Then once you are married, follow the following advice about the perfect husband.

If you’re married…

This is where my advice may seem surprising. Let me begin by saying I totally understand the desire for a perfect husband. While I’m not a perfect wife, I certainly want a perfect husband. I want a husband who meets all my needs and fulfills me.

Let me start by saying that God is the only one who can truly fulfill all our needs (Philippians 4:19). When I reflect and pray on this a husband who meets my needs, I realize God DID give me the perfect husband FOR ME. The man He sent for me is just right. And seriously, after 30 years it still amazes me that this mean has stuck around. I mean, I can be intense and frustrating! I’m sure my husband longs for a perfect wife as much as I long for a perfect husband.

We fit together

And therein we find our answer. We can each BE the perfect spouse. We need to love the one God gave us. When we find joy and perfection in the one God gave us, we are embracing God’s best for us. When we see the one person God chose for us as the ONE we are supposed to be with, we begin to see how perfectly we fit together.

Your strengths are his weaknesses, and his strengths are your weaknesses. You fit together just right. You find humor in his stories and he finds humor in yours. When you need someone, he is there for you. Is it always when/how you’d prefer? Maybe not. But life interferes with everyone. None of us live a life that is 100% as we would have it.

What happens when we look at home

When we choose to look for the perfect spouse in the one we have, we begin to see him in a totally new light. We begin to see the mini-perfections that God planned for us. We begin to try to be the perfect wife (even though we realize that it’s unattainable) and we begin to look for the perfect husband right here at home (even though we realize that’s unattainable, too). When we begin to realize that, like Goldilocks, what we have is just right.

Now that you have your perfect husband…

Now that you have your perfect husband and are finding joy in him, it’s time to make your marriage a haven. Make it a place of peace and fulfillment. I’m here to help. Here’s a list of articles that will help you get started. You can always email me for topics and I’ll address those here, too.

Enjoy your perfet husband!

Love,

🌸 Andrea