How to Communicate Gratitude in Your Christian Marriage

Expressing gratitude in marriage, even a Christian marriage, can be tricky sometimes. I mean, let’s face it, we don’t always feel warm and fuzzy toward our spouse. The little things get in the way, and we let ourselves get carried away by the day-to-day stuff of life. We forget to seek God’s presence and hold it with us all day.

I want to express gratitude for all my husband does for me. And he does a lot. He works incredibly hard for us. At a night job, which makes his work that much harder. He keeps my car in good working order. He keeps the household and farm in good working order. He plans romantic dates and notices when my mental health is slipping. He’s always available with a hug and a kind word. He’s truly my marriage partner.

Yet I forget sometimes to thank him for all he does. I want to be a biblical wife who remembers to shower her husband with genuine gratitude as her first words, instead of anything else.

Introduction

In the busyness of life, cultivating a spirit of daily gratitude can transform communication and deepen the bond between spouses. Recent discussions in Christian marriage circles highlight gratitude as a foundational practice that fosters appreciation and mutual encouragement. This post will explore practical tips for weaving God’s blessing of thanksgiving into your marriage conversations to uplift and unite your hearts.

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Biblical Foundations of Gratitude

Gratitude is deeply rooted in Scripture and serves as a cornerstone for Christian living, especially within marriage. Philippians 4:6–7 reminds believers to bring all their requests to God with thanksgiving, promising the peace of God as a result. In a marriage, this verse emphasizes the role of prayerful gratitude in handling challenges together. By approaching God in prayer with a thankful heart, couples can foster unity and rely on His strength during both trials and triumphs.

Similarly, Colossians 3:15 calls believers to let the peace of Christ rule in their hearts, accompanied by thankfulness. For married couples, this verse invites them to intentionally seek Christ’s peace, cultivating harmony, and gratitude as guiding principles in their relationship. Regularly reflecting on these verses can help spouses realign their communication and attitudes with Biblical teachings.

What does it mean to reflect on verses? It can mean a few different things. It can mean talking about the verses during dinner. I love doing this with the kids there so they can see us actually discussing Scripture. It can also mean sharing a couple’s journal about the Scriptures. You can write the verses out in different translations (use the links above to access different translations) to see it from different angles. You can also commit to meditate on them during the day, then share what you learned that night. You can pray about the verses as a couple before bed.

Daily Gratitude Rituals

Incorporating gratitude into daily routines can transform the atmosphere of a marriage. Begin each day with morning prayers of thanksgiving, individually or together. This practice not only sets a positive tone for the day but also acknowledges the blessings God provides, both big and small. When we begin our day with thanking God we are aligning our hearts to thank others, as well.

Then challenge yourselves to let your first words every day be ones of gratitude.

Maintaining a gratitude journal is another effective ritual. Spouses can jot down moments of appreciation for their partner or blessings they’ve noticed throughout the day. Over time, these records serve as a powerful testimony of God’s faithfulness and a reminder of the love and support shared within the marriage.

Communicating Appreciation Effectively

Expressing gratitude verbally is an art that enhances connection. Replace vague statements like “Thanks for everything” with specific affirmations, such as “I appreciate when you take the time to listen to me after a long day.” These specific acknowledgments not only validate your spouse’s efforts but also show that you notice and value their contributions. I’ll be honest, when I do this my husband doesn’t respond much. But I know he’s listening. And I know that he really does want to be acknowledged for what he does.

Leaving affectionate notes is another simple yet meaningful way to communicate gratitude. Whether it’s a handwritten note tucked into a lunchbox, or a quick message left on the bathroom mirror (I like to leave mine in red lipstick), these small gestures go a long way in making your spouse feel loved and appreciated.

I’m also a huge proponent of the daily love text. When you do this, you send a simple text saying one thing you love about your spouse or are grateful for about your spouse. Make it short and sweet and do not expect a response. If you do this every day, I promise you will feel your heat changing toward your spouse.

No matter what your spouse’s love language is, words of affirmation like gratitude can have a profound impact on them. It may seem like a small thing, but the words we say are powerful. At the end of the day, we want our spouse to know how much we appreciate them and their hard work for us.

Overcoming Hurdles to Gratitude

The busyness and routines of life can often obscure reasons for gratitude. To combat this, schedule brief “gratitude breaks” during the day where you pause to reflect on blessings. For example, take a moment every evening to share one thing you’re thankful for about your spouse. Again, dinner time is a great opportunity to involve the kids in a healthy communication practice.

Acknowledging small, everyday blessings is also key. From a spouse preparing your favorite meal to their effort in maintaining the home, these minor yet significant acts of love often go unnoticed. Make it a point to recognize and express gratitude for them consistently.

On the receiving end, remember that being gracious receivers is important, as well. Sometimes we don’t know how to receive kind words. A simple “thank you, honey” or a kiss goes a long way.

Keeping the Momentum

Scripture reminds us to: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15)

To sustain the practice of gratitude, consider launching a monthly “thankfulness challenge.” This could be as simple as setting aside one evening a month to share highlights of the past weeks and prayer requests with your spouse.

Adding a community element, such as involving a small group or church gathering, can further inspire accountability and shared encouragement.

This challenge not only keeps gratitude alive but also strengthens your spiritual and emotional connection as a couple. It serves as a reminder to cherish the journey you’re on together, guided by God’s grace.

Conclusion

Practicing gratitude in marriage is more than a one-time effort; it is a continual transformation of the heart and mind. When you intentionally weave thanksgiving into your life on a daily basis, you foster resilience and joy that reflect Christ’s love in your relationship. Start today by choosing one gratitude practice—be it a morning prayer, a journal entry, or a heartfelt note of gracious words—and watch how consistent thanksgiving deepens your connection and renews your marriage with grace and hope.

While we’re at it, please know that I’m thankful for YOU! Thanks for being here.

🌸 Andrea

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