How to be nicer to your husband in 5 easy steps

Sometimes it’s Tough to be Nice

I’m embarrassed to say that far too often I respond with frustration and irritation to my husband instead of with love and kindness. I want to be nicer to my husband, but sometimes it’s just difficult.

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to let kindness slip through the cracks, especially in marriage. As Christian wives, we are called to love our husbands with the same grace and kindness that Christ shows us. Yet, between the demands of work, children, and household duties, we might find ourselves reacting more with frustration than with compassion and heartfelt love.

This article offers practical ways to be intentionally kinder to your husband, enhancing your marriage and glorifying God in the process. Here are five easy steps you can take:

Reflect Christ’s Love in Your Actions

 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

The first step is to remember Christ. He forgives, waits patiently for us, and sets clear expectations. We can do the same thing in our marriage. Forgiveness is a first key. I find most often I need to forgive the little infractions of everyday life. It’s those pesky irritations that can really cause damage for marriage.

Then remember to simply be nice to him. Set aside frustrations with the kids and work – don’t take them out on him. Remember he’s going through rough times as well. His work is stressful, too. He also feels pressure to be a good parent. How can you get through this together, as a team?

Communicate with Grace and Patience

 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Colossians 4:6)

Our tone of voice communicates A LOT in every relationship and marriage is no different. I find I must be strategic about my communication with my husband. I need to really focus on sounding loving, not just saying the loving words. If my words say, “I have time for you” but my tone says, “finish up so I can get more work done” he will respond to the tone before the words.

Instead of letting impatience or irritability take over, strive to speak with grace. This means pausing before reacting and choosing words that uplift rather than tear down.

Prioritize Forgiveness and Understanding

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

I talked about this in the first one, but it’s important here, too. When misunderstandings or disagreements arise, choose forgiveness over holding a grudge. Holding a grudge doesn’t help anyone. In fact, it hurts the grudge-bearer tremendously. Studies show that holding a grudge affects us physically. So not only is it bad for our marriage, it’s also bad for our health.

Understanding your husband’s perspective and offering grace can mend wounds and strengthen your bond, both keys to being nicer to your husband. I know this is old-school but put yourself in your husband’s shoes. Imagine life from his perspective. What is he going through? What stressors are affecting him? How can you make things easier for him through that understanding?

Show Appreciation in the Little Things to be Nicer to your Husband

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

(1 Thessalonians 5:18)

This one goes a long way in our household! My husband is always doing little things for me. When I take time to acknowledge them, he is so happy. He doesn’t always thank me for acknowledging them, but his mood improves dramatically. I think he likes when I notice those little things.

Gratitude goes a long way in marriage. Regularly expressing appreciation for your husband’s efforts, big or small, cultivates a positive atmosphere and reminds him that he is valued. When a person feels valued, they handle crises better, and have stronger well-being and life satisfaction. Don’t we want that for our husbands?

Make Time for Connection

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)

There are many ways we can make time for connection. Regular dates are key – even if they are just lunch dates. Engaging in a hobby together is also a great way to build connection. Physical touch is important, regardless of your love language.

Don’t forget the importance of prayer in being nicer to your husband. Simply praying together can deepen your connection and foster kindness. Prioritize time together, even in the midst of busy schedules, to nurture your bond.

Conclusion

Being nicer to your husband is not just about improving your marriage, but about living out your faith in a tangible way.

By reflecting Christ’s love, communicating with grace, prioritizing forgiveness, showing appreciation, and making time for connection, you can transform your relationship into one that not only thrives but also glorifies God.

Remember, kindness is a daily choice—one that reflects the love of Christ and strengthens the foundation of your marriage. 💖

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