Enhancing Spiritual Intimacy with Prayer and Communication

Last Updated on April 15, 2025 by Andrea

Focus on the Family says that spiritual intimacy is, “Spiritual intimacy in marriage is more than reading the Bible and agreeing on theological topics. It’s learning how to connect with your spouse through your faith.” I’ll be honest, this seems difficult to me sometimes. No two spouses are at exactly the same place in their faith. After all, faith is very personal. So while my husband and I both love the Lord, sometimes we each feel closer to God at some times than other times. Connecting when our faith is waning can be difficult.

But spiritual intimacy doesn’t mean our faith has to be super strong all the time. Rather, it means we bring our faith into our marriage. We make a point to focus on all that God is doing in our lives and being intentional about following up with each other about faith issues. We focus on spiritual connection throughout our day, even if our individual faith is fledgling.

Introduction

An intimate relationship in Christian marriage goes beyond physical and emotional—it’s spiritual. Praying together and sharing faith journeys create a powerful bond that sustains you through life’s storms. Marriage provides a great opportunity for seeing life together as a spiritual journey. Here’s a list of practical ways you can get started building spiritual intimacy in your marriage today.

Why Spiritual Intimacy Matters

Spiritual intimacy is crucial in marriage because it mirrors the unity of the Trinity as described in John 17:21: “That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” The Trinity refers to the tree-in-one body of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. This three-in-one quality is unique to our Christian faith. Each part is essential to understanding the other. This divine unity serves as a model for married couples, encouraging them to grow closer through shared faith and spiritual practices. When spouses reflect the Trinity’s unity in their relationship, it helps them to become one in their journey of faith, fostering a deeper connection that transcends physical and emotional intimacy.

Moreover, spiritual intimacy builds resilience against life’s trials. By praying together and sharing their faith journeys, couples create a powerful bond that sustains them through difficult times. This shared spiritual foundation provides strength and stability, allowing couples to support each other and navigate challenges with grace and perseverance. In essence, spiritual intimacy equips couples with the tools to face adversities together, reinforcing their commitment and trust in one another.

Practical Prayer Rhythms

There is not right way to establish spiritual intimacy. There are a few easy steps, though. First, engaging in daily devotional times can be very helpful. The advantage of daily devotions is they tend to be short, they are focused on a single topic, and they don’t require someone to do any study or advance prep. Daily devotionals abound! There is a devotional for nearly every topic and relationship you can think of. There are also several devotional Bibles. I like these because they keep us grounded in the Word by providing the dual opportunity to read Scripture and have a devotional. You can’t go wrong to search Amazon for “couple’s Christian devotional” or “devotional Bible.”  

Prayer journals are another great way to build spiritual intimacy through daily prayer. Get yourself a blank journal (Etsy has some really cute ones, but seriously, go to Walmart and grab a blank one). Then find a time every day or every week to talk about your prayer requests. Write down each person’s request. Then remember to pray for each other every day. Pray while you’re getting the kids ready for school, while you’re in the car, while you make dinner…pray all day! As God answers your prayers, log His answer in your prayer journal. Over time you will begin to see how God is moving in your life as a couple. When we see how God cares for us, and we talk about it with our spouse, we are building spiritual intimacy.

Prayer time requires effective communication as we don’t want our spouse to be a mind-reader. We need to communicate clearly what our needs are so that we can pray with strength for our spouse. Knowing about the daily life of each other helps us to be able to communicate well and to pray with depth for each other.

Scripture as Conversation Starter

I like to read my Bible every day. My husband, well, not so much. But he’ll watch someone talk about Bible verses on YouTube and he’ll read a verse if I send it to him. Weekly “Bible check‑ins” can be a great way to talk about Scripture. If you attend a church together, pick a verse from church and talk about it on the way home or over dinner on Sunday. Involve the kids to grow in spiritual intimacy for all family members.

You can also discuss a passage and its life application. My best practical tip: The Chosen series. The Chosen is great for Bible application, in my opinion. It’s available at the free The Chosen app and through Amazon Prime. Each episode is loaded with Scriptures to discuss.

Another option is to read the Bible together. Find a time that works with your schedule – morning or evening before bed tend to be good times – and pick a place to start. My favorite Old Testament books are Esther and Ruth. My favorite New Testament book is Philippians, and my favorite Gospel is Luke. If you aren’t familiar with the Bible, Genesis has lots of stories most people know, even if they didn’t know they come from the Bible.

If you have time, engage in a Bible study together. There are plenty of Christian marriage Bible studies available to keep you going for years. Just Google the topic or search Amazon for some. You might be surprised at what you find!

Once you find a place to start, just start reading. Stop when you come to something interesting. Or read a chapter and discuss what you read. There’s no rush! It’s not a race so take your time. You can also read Proverbs – there are 31 chapters so you could read one every day.

The important point is to read together and apply the reading to your life. Biblical teachings are hugely applicable! If you aren’t sure how to do this, there are many Life Application Study Bibles. These are great because they make application but also have added content to help you understand what you read.

Faith Goals and Accountability

Setting Spiritual Milestones

One effective way for couples to build spiritual intimacy is by setting spiritual milestones together. These can be various goals that reflect their mutual faith journey. Examples include participating in service projects, such as volunteering at a local shelter, joining a mission trip, or organizing a community outreach event.  Check your local church or community center to find some opportunities for outreach. By working together toward these milestones, couples can deepen their connection to each other and their faith. These shared experiences foster a sense of accomplishment and unity, reinforcing their spiritual bond.

Encouraging Each Other’s Gifts and Callings

Another important element of building spiritual intimacy is recognizing and encouraging each other’s gifts and callings. Every individual has unique talents and a specific calling that can contribute to their spiritual growth and the well-being of their partner. Spend quality time learning what your gifts are. Couples should actively support one another in discovering and developing these gifts. This can be done by providing opportunities for each partner to use their talents in meaningful ways, whether through church activities, small groups, or personal projects. Encouraging each other in this manner not only builds spiritual intimacy but also helps each person feel valued and understood within the relationship.

By focusing on faith goals and accountability, couples can create a strong foundation for spiritual intimacy. As they set and achieve spiritual milestones and support each other’s gifts and callings, they will find themselves growing closer to God and to each other.

Overcoming Hurdles

Inevitably, there will be times when one spouse is less spiritually engaged than the other. While it’s not any one person’s goal to “carry” someone else’s faith, this is where routines come in handy. If you are already in the habit of reading the Bible every day, or praying together as a couple every day, then you can help your spouse along during his less engaged time. And be sure to pray about that, too! Add it to your prayer journal. Everyone goes through times when their faith is less engaging than other times. As a spouse, it’s a great time to encourage your spouse to keep reading, keep studying, keep trusting God. Take some time to focus on deepening your prayer life and that will help keep you both on track.

Just like dry seasons come to our faith, busy seasons come into every family. Again, this is where habits and routines take over. Make spiritual intimacy a priority for your marriage. Does this mean you may need to get up a little bit earlier to make time for Bible reading and prayer? Maybe. But the payoff is totally worth it! Do what you have to do to keep God at the center of your marriage. Doing this may mean other activities have to be cut from the schedule or you may need to be creative (read the Bible in the car, FaceTime your prayer time, you get the idea) but being creative means you are honoring God as a priority in your marriage.

Conclusion

By prioritizing spiritual communication—through prayer, Scripture discussion, and setting faith goals—your marriage can serve as a testament to Christ’s love, fostering a deeper relationship both with God and with one another. All you have to do is get started.

Next Steps

What will you do to get started? Tell us below in the comments! ⬇️

With love,

🌸 Andrea

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