7 Biblical Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

Introduction:

I’ve been married for 30 years, and we’ve had seasons we were able to keep the spark alive and other seasons when the spark was just that – a tiny spark. Connecting with God and each other has been the key to a strong marriage for three decades.

Christian marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts, designed to reflect His love and commitment. However, even the strongest Christian marriages can face seasons where the spark seems to fade, replaced by the routines of daily life. Between work, parenting, and endless responsibilities, it’s easy to let romance take a back seat. But God calls us to cultivate love intentionally, even when life feels busy or mundane.

If you’re longing to rekindle the passion in your marriage, you’re not alone. By applying biblical principles and making time for each other, you can reignite the connection you once had.

In this article, we’ll explore seven powerful, faith-filled ways to keep the romance alive, grounded in God’s Word. Whether you’re newlyweds or decades into marriage, these practical tips will inspire you to transform routine into a renewed sense of intimacy and joy.

Put God at the Center

When we focus on God in our marriage we strengthen marital intimacy. God is love and when we focus on that love, love in our relationships naturally grows. Spiritual growth increases our capacity to love, as well. When we are focusing on God’s love, we also increase our capacity for emotional connection.

Bible verses like Ecclesiastes 4:12 (Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken) remind us that putting God in the center of our marriage makes it stronger. The good news is that God is always ready for you to include Him in your marriage.

Practical Challenge:

Find time this week to pray together, read the Bible together, or begin a Bible study together. It may be awkward at first, but you’ll get used to it and find your marriage is so much stronger for it.

Prioritize Time Together

Dates are a crucial way to connect because they take us away from kids, work, and other responsibilities. Alone time as a couple us essential to rekindle the flame. Time together is like oxygen to a fire – it fans the flames.

Lunch dates can be a good thing, as well. In our marriage breakfast and lunch dates are the best ways for us to catch up, while dinner dates are for romance. Each has an important role to play in our marriage. Summer can be an amazing time for creative dates so keep that in mind. Regardless of season, regular date nights are key to a healthy marriage.

Dates don’t have to be expensive. When our kids were little, we spent time on the back porch after they went to bed. Once they are in school it’s a bit easier, as we could have daytime dates more frequently. Want more night dates? See if a friend will swap date nights with you for childcare. Then you aren’t paying any money and are helping another couple. Win-win!

Song of Solomon is a great model for romantic love. Haven’t checked it out? Try reading it together. I suggest a modern language translation like The Message to really get the most out of it.

Practical Challenge:

Find time to connect alone this week. Even for a half hour. Take a walk after dinner, schedule a coffee date, go for dinner – whatever you do, do it together!

Cultivate Gratitude

Gratitude in marriage moves beyond just thanking your spouse, though that’s very important. We also need to take time to thank God for our spouse daily. God gave you a very special man and it’s important to thank God for him every day. While he may be frustrating, when we focus on gratitude, we take our attention away from the irritation and focus on the things we love about our spouse. Be sure to thank God for the way He made your spouse, for the special plan He has for your marriage, and for the opportunity to have a lifetime of love with someone special.

There are lots of ways to show our spouse we love them. While a simple, “thank you” is always great, there are many ways to say thank you with creativity. A long-term relationship needs lots of creativity! Even if you aren’t terribly creative and have no money for a thank you gift, the important thing is to express gratitude. Not sure how to get started? Leave your spouse a sweet note in the bathroom thanking him for something he did recently. Or send a daily text with gratitude.

Practical Challenge:

This week find one thing thank your spouse for and make it happen. Even if it’s something simple like thanking him for picking up his socks in the bathroom. Find something to be thankful for and make it known to him. Bonus if you remember to thank God for your spouse this week!

Practice Servant-Hearted Love

A thriving marriage reflects Christ’s love for the church, which is marked by humility, sacrifice, and service. Practicing servant-hearted love means putting your spouse’s needs and desires above your own, not out of obligation, but as an intentional act of love rooted in faith. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

What does this look like in a marriage?
Servant-hearted love can take many forms, from small daily acts of kindness to more significant gestures. Here are a few examples:

Anticipate Your Spouse’s Needs: Surprise your spouse by taking care of something they usually handle, like preparing their favorite meal, running an errand, or emptying the dishwasher. When this is done with mutual respect and effort, everyone’s needs get met!

Offer Encouragement Freely: Take the time to affirm and encourage your spouse, especially during stressful or difficult times. A simple, heartfelt word of appreciation can lighten their burden.

Be Patient and Understanding: Even when emotions run high, choose to respond with grace and compassion. This reflects God’s love in the moments that matter most.

Serve Without Expecting in Return: True servant-hearted love doesn’t come with a scorecard. Look for opportunities to give and serve selflessly, trusting God to bless your efforts.

Why is servant-hearted love powerful?

When you embrace a posture of service in your marriage, you reflect Christ’s humility and love. This attitude creates a safe and nurturing environment where your spouse feels valued and cherished. Over time, this selflessness often inspires reciprocal love, deepening your connection.

Practical Challenge:

This week, look for one intentional way to serve your spouse each day. It could be something as simple as making them coffee in the morning, leaving them an encouraging note, or handling a task that lightens their load. As you do, pray for God to grow your heart to love like Jesus, putting your spouse first with joy and gratitude.

Embrace Physical Intimacy

In a perfect (God-designed) world, physical intimacy is reserved for marriage. It’s the one way we can connect with someone else in a truly deep and meaningful way. When we connect with our spouse on a physical level, we are connecting in a way that is unique to that relationship. I can’t stress enough how important it is to tend to your spouse’s needs. I’ve learned over the years that it’s crucial, even if I’m not in the mood when things get started. The simple act of initiating connection reminds me how important it is and I am soon fully invested in this special time together. I also know when you’ve been going through a difficult time, it’s tough to feel motivated to connect in this way.

Yet I’ll be honest, when we connect physically, we feel emotionally closer, as well. My husband is infinitely more loving when I’m taking care of our physical needs. I admit this was MUCH more difficult when the kids were babies and then again when they were young children. Now, with my husband working the night shift for so many years, we’ve had to be creative about our intimate time. Date night is not always an option for us as regularly as we’d like. Now we capitalize on daytimes for intimacy when the kids are out of the house.

Scripture & Physical Intimacy

God’s word reminds us that “the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Clearly sexual intimacy is a blessing and important for marriage. This type of intimacy brings a couple together, and rekindles the spark, like nothing else. Even if it’s awkward after a while, even if you’re tired, even if you don’t like how your body looks. And on that note, my husband tells me that he doesn’t see my body like I do – he thinks I’m sexy and beautiful even though I just feel fat. ❤️ I’m sure your husband feels the same way! These are meaningful conversations to have, when you’re not “in the moment.”

Practical Challenge:

I know it’s difficult to reconnect physically when there’s been a dry spell. But today is the day to plan your next “alone time.” The important thing to remember is anytime is a good time. When can you reconnect physically? Put it on the calendar and make it happen. You’ll be so glad you did. Added bonus? There are lots of positive physical outcomes to sex, including lowering stress and blood pressure.

Pursue Shared Adventures

Growing together as a couple can be very exciting. My husband recently started learning about ham radio and wants me to learn about it too. Am I interested? Maybe not so much. But HE loves it and wants to share this love with me. So I’m learning and will take my test in a few months so I can support my husband’s hobby. New activities build excitement and memories. Find a hobby you both like and begin learning. Here is a list of 12 hobbies to consider starting with your spouse. There’s an added bonus to pursuing a shared activity – you learn effective communication skills while you’re at it!

Ecclesiastes 9:9 encourages us to “enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. See, even Scripture is telling you to find some things to do together!

Practical Challenge:

This week find ONE thing you can do together to begin growing and making memories. Maybe you want to share in a hobby your husband already has (if he wants you to) or you can start a hobby together that you will both enjoy. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time or money – it’s all about learning and growing together while you make memories.

Pray for and with Each Other

Praying together is a great way to end this article as we started talking about our focus on God. We’ll end the same way. There is great power in prayer to foster intimacy in our marriage.

Prayer is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your marriage and draw closer to God together. When you pray for your spouse, you invite God’s guidance, protection, and blessings into their life. When you pray with your spouse, you create a spiritual bond that fosters unity, vulnerability, and shared purpose. Matthew 18:20 reminds us, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Why It Matters:

Praying together opens the door for honest conversations about your struggles, hopes, and dreams. It also reinforces your commitment to putting God at the center of your marriage.

Practical Tips:

Start Small: If praying together feels unfamiliar, begin with a short, simple prayer, such as asking for guidance for the day ahead.

Share Requests: Take turns sharing specific prayer needs and lifting each other up before God.

Make It Routine: Set aside time daily or weekly to pray together—whether before bed, over meals, or during a quiet morning moment.

Sample Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for our marriage. Thank you for this time to come together to share our needs with you. We repent that we don’t spend as much time in prayer as we would like. Show us how to pray together to honor you and strengthen our marriage. Please help (husband’s name) with these pressing issues…Please help (wife’s name) with these pressing issues…Thank you in advance for all you do for us. Help us to grow our marriage to be stronger than ever. In Jesus’s name, Amen

Practical Challenge:

This week, commit to praying with your spouse at least once. If you’re already doing so, focus on being more intentional by praying aloud and asking God to strengthen your bond and deepen your love for one another.

Conclusion:

Marriage requires hard work and intentional effort. I promise you it’s totally worth the effort, though. When you focus on God and each other you’ll find that the tiny spark can be fanned into a flame that will help your marriage grow stronger and last for years. But you need to keep tending it, so keep these habits up.

Try one of these challenges this week. If you try one each week, in nearly two months (7 weeks) you’ll be well on your way to a stronger, more connected marriage.

With love,

🌸 Andrea

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