5 Habits That Strengthen Communication in Christian Marriage

Did you know that there are some daily habits that strengthen communication in your marriage? I have a love-hate relationship with daily habits. On the one hand, they are super helpful in organizing life and making life run smoothly. On the other hand, too many daily habits can be overwhelming, and we can easily become resentful of them. That resentment can lead to skipping those habits and then the whole system falls apart. There must be a happy balance for daily habits, right?

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Introduction

Strong Christian marriages don’t happen by accident. They’re built with purpose—one small, intentional habit at a time. Healthy communication is the glue that holds your relationship together, and just like anything else, it needs regular attention. The good news? You don’t need hours of intense talks to grow a deeper connection. Sometimes it’s the simple things you do daily that make all the difference in building a strong marriage.

If you’re wondering how to connect better with your spouse, try building these five habits into your day. They’re practical, biblical, and completely doable—even in a busy life.

Say “I love you” and mean it

This one should be super simple. It’s easy to assume your spouse already knows how you feel—but saying “I love you” out loud reminds them every day. Don’t let routine make you forget how powerful those three little words are. Make a conscious effort to notice what your spouse does that you love and appreciate.

Scripture connection: God’s word tells us “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

Even better? Add something specific. Try, “I love you and appreciate how hard you worked today.” I like to do this habit in several ways throughout the day: I like a general “I love you” when we are parting or going to bed and I like to send a text during the day with something specific I love about him. This text helps him to know that I’m thinking about him. I know my husband loves to know I am thinking about him!

Another great time to share what you love is over the dinner table. It’s important for our kids to hear that their parents love each other. When we share love and appreciation for one another, they not only see that you love each other but they also see appreciation at work. They are more likely to model what they see and show appreciation to others from seeing it modeled at home.

Ask open-ended questions

For this habit we are avoiding yes/no questions. Instead of “Did you have a good day?” try, “What was the best part of your day?” I like this question because it focuses on the positive instead of the negative.  Open-ended questions invite your spouse to share more than just a yes or no answer—and show that you care about the details. Be sure you pay close attention so you can also ask natural follow-up questions. When we love someone, we want to share in their life. Asking these questions is one way to do that. While you’re at it, give your spouse your undivided attention while they answer. If you’re not in a good place to give them your attention, then don’t ask at that time. Wait until you can really focus on his answers with your full attention. This style of meaningful conversations will enhance your marital communication and build healthy communication habits that last a lifetime.

Bonus tip: Listen without interrupting (use good active listening skills) – it builds trust and shows respect.

Share Scripture together

Spiritual intimacy strengthens emotional intimacy. Read one Bible verse together in the morning or before bed. It doesn’t have to be long—just a moment of God’s Word to keep you focused on Him and each other. Focusing on God helps keep the marriage centered on the One who created marriage. When we read Scripture, we learn what God’s plan is and we learn how to live the way He wants us to. When we know those things, we can help each other be the best versions of ourselves, as God made us to be.

Example: Start with something simple like Proverbs 3:5–6 or Romans 12:10. Take turns reading aloud.

Check in emotionally

This habit has been very important to me lately. I’ve had some mental health medication changes and I’ve not been in a great place. My sweet husband has been great to pick up on the signs of a bad day and been great about checking in. A quick emotional “pulse check” can go a long way. Try asking, “How are you feeling today—really?” Or even, “Is there anything on your heart I can pray about?” If you try the last one, be sure you follow up with actually praying. Bonus points if you actually pray on the spot for your spouse!

These questions create space for vulnerability and reminds your spouse that you’re a safe place. We wall want a place where we can be ourselves and not have to fake it. The key to this one is to check in, but also to allow yourself to be vulnerable when your spouse checks in with you. It’s okay to let down your guard and be honest.

End the day with kindness

Words are important and carry weight. The last words you say each day matter. These words are the ones that stay with us as we fall asleep. End your day with encouragement, a gentle touch, or a short prayer. Even if it’s been a hard day, choosing kindness resets your tone for tomorrow.

Scripture connection: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” – Ephesians 4:26

A simple “I’m thankful for you” or “Goodnight, I love you” goes a long way.

Conclusion

Marriage is built in the daily moments. These five habits don’t take much time—but they have lasting impact. Speak love, ask deeper questions, connect spiritually, check in emotionally, and end the day with kindness. When you do, you’ll see your communication—and your connection—grow stronger by the grace of God.

Peace & Joy,

🌸 Andrea

Resources:

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear – This bestseller is a bestseller for a reason. It’s simply fantastic. Well written with easy-to-understand principles, this book can totally change your life if you let it. For what it’s worth, my teen son read this, too, and loved it. He implemented some of the practices and said they help in his day-to-day life.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey – This classic book still holds true today. I read this many years ago and still implement the principles today. The link takes you to the 30^th edition copy, released in 2020.

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